And now for my review of the second book:
Super Detective Library 23 - Kidnapped by MartiansThis story is the inferior of the two. Its premise and scenario give it great possibilities, especially in this 68-page format. It is a shame that it used a lot of panels for not-very-important scenes that really were not necessary to move the story along, when they, instead, could have been used to include another background thread, which would have made the story more interesting, entertaining, and satisfying to the reader. The artwork by Selby Donnison was excellent. But the story had an abrupt, ending that was not earned by the protagonists, and the would-be "villains" were only half-hearted in their coldhearted selfishness, and their uncaring lack of empathy for their potential victims. Thus, there was no real protagonist for whom to root, and no real villain to hate, and not nearly enough suspense, not much action, and no real climax. I think I would have been sent the old "Sorry, but we no longer have need for your services" letter from my publisher, IF I had turned in such a story!
Given the 68 pages with which to work, and keeping the basic story premise and structure, I'd have made the following changes:
1) I would have made the danger to The Martians more imminent, to make them more desperate, which, in turn, would make their villainy (needed to provide more suspense, action, and someone to root against) more believable. For example, The Martian climate is getting ever colder, and the people are running out of resources to keep it warm enough to grow enough food for themselves. They are dying of malnutrition due to their food lacking the levels of the vitamins and minerals they need to sustain decent health. They must relocate to a more viable planet fairly soon, or die out as a people.
2)
The differences between The Kroons and the other Martians are not explained enough, and not really exploited in the story. Carl Barks (and all editors) Rule #1: NEVER introduce something into a story that you do not use in a meaningful way, unless it is used as a "red herring" (to deflect the readers attention from evidence that could allow them to make a connection earlier than you want). The larger size of The Kroons, and their servile status could have been used to foster a rivalry between those two Martian peoples, that could have been used as a way to have one of the two groups take the part of the villains (e.g. danger to Earths Humans), and the other could be the helpers who help the hero/protagonist (Hugh Harkness), succeed at saving the Human captives, and stopping the dangerous villains (either of the two Martian races) from invading or conquering Earth.
I would have had the smaller, but dominant Martians planning to invade Earth, using their technological advantages to take over, and have the larger, but less knowledgeable,
Kroons, hating their overseers, ally together with Harkness, to stop their invasion of Earth.3) Adding action - I would add more of a battle scene early in the story, while on Earth, when The Martians kidnap the children, with The Kroons later having qualms about having killed several Humans, while doing the bidding of their seemingly unfeeling masters, in separating an entire (fairly large) schoolsworth of children from their parents. One class is not enough scale to elicit feelings of enough danger to produce the desired level of suspense. One class is the level of one Human madman. A large-looking school, of indeterminate number of classrooms is enough to be thought of as a crisis. The artist would not need to show all 500 students in any single scene. Then,
on Mars, I would show action scenes with Harkness and his Kroon allies fighting the smaller Martians, after scenes showing The Kroons, Harkness, and perhaps even a select, brave schoolboy, or two, sneaking weapons away from their small martian owners, leading to a battle, in which Harkness and The Krowns capture The Martian ,(or Metropola) King, and his main underlings, free the children, and dictate to those previous leaders what now will be done. Perhaps I would have The Kroons (who are better adapted to survive in the bitter cold, and thinner atmosphere) threaten to destroy The smaller Martians Atmospheric Pump (which provides air to breathe and hold more heat inside their domed city), unless they come to their sense, stop fighting, and dump their Earth Invasion Plan. A few Kroons, and a few (reasonably thinking) small Martians would accompany Harkness and the children back to Earth, as a peaceful legation, to ask The Earths leaders to accept their dying people as immigrants. I am not sure whether or not I would end the story with the Kroon and non-Kroon Martian representatives, with Harkness and the children flying in the spaceship back towards Earth, or having them arrive to Earth, and having a splash panel ending showing a United Nations meeting, with Harkness pleading the case for the pitiable endangered Martians to be taken in by the reasonably well-to-do nations. A nice unexpected twist, turning it into a tragic story would be the UN vote turning down his pleas, and voting to spend trillions on space war technology and plan to invade Mars and destroy the Martians, to avoid being beat to the punch.
4) My scenes in which Queen Karil feels empathy and pity for The Human children and The People of Earth, and progressively moves towards being an ally of Harkness would be much more emotional and convincing, IF I would want to change her over to the sympathetic side. Then, I could have a sappy ending in which Harkness marries her in a symbolic second wedding on Earth, as a symbol of uniting The Peoples of Earth and Mars.
. But, I prefer the ending in which The UN votes to Nuke The Martian civilization into oblivion. Unfortunately, it is the more realistic.
These improvements would still have the story feeling a bit like a moralistic lecture.
And, I also admit that to include all the improvements I would want, I would have to divide the 68 pages into at least 4 to 5 panels per page. That would make it more like a US/Canadian-style comic book than British, and requiring many more drawings made, might make British artists balk at the job, or ask for more money that the publisher would not want to pay.