[boox909]

This is a CRACKED Magazine piece that I just came across.

Believe it or not, a few of our beloved Golden Age superheroes made the list.

I won't spoil it by tell you which. Check it out.

B. 

http://www.cracked.com/article_16547_7-crappiest-super-heroes-in-comic-book-history.html

[phabox]

A Great find and a fun read although it had already been noted that the " winner" of this list, if indeed the word winner is a word that has any use here did have one of the most cockeyed origin stories of the Golden Age of Comics, no scratch that, ALL TIME !

Even more astonishing is the fact that the writer/creator of this character was one of the greatest most talented comic book writer/artists ever to draw breath.

Still he was very young back in 1940 and if nothing else this goes to show that EVERYONE has 'off' days although I think maybe his editor must have been alseep at the switch to pass this daffy yarn. 

Still almost 70 years on its to late to worry about it now.

-Nigel

[John C]

To be fair, though, once you look at things with a critical eye, there isn't a single superhero who'd survive scrutiny.  The Golden Agers I tend to be more lenient with, because most companies have one foot in the humor strip world.  Plastic Man is an excellent example, where the origin makes sense, but only if you envision a world where people get amnesia by smacking their heads into walls after slipping on a banana peel.

The first handful I start thinking of who make NO sense come around in the '50s.  I'm looking at you, Fighting American and Captain Atom.  All in good fun, but they become more egregious after that, because the writers start expecting us to take them increasingly seriously!

Oh, well.  I don't care if [name redacted] is the stupidest ever.  The stories are still fun, and that's what counts.  Unlike the Punisher, Green Arrow, or dozens of more modern (and modernized) characters being printed today.

[rez]

Glad silverage Herbie didn't make the list.

Herbie Rules![/quote]

http://www.cracked.com/article_16547_7-crappiest-super-heroes-in-comic-book-history.html


[/quote]

[narfstar]

The second place should really go to the Key.  Just read Key Comics #1.  Throwing a Key on a string around crooks is the second worst super hero gimick ever.  If that is second what is the first?  Glad you asked.  That has to go to the Buzzard.  He casts a shadow that looks like a buzzard and scares the crap out of the hardened criminals of the underworld.  Now that makes sense 

[phabox]

I Thought you had me for a moment there Jim, I was racking my Brain trying to remember who or what The Buzzard was, first idea with a name like that was one of those wacky Fox characters but upon checking my records I find I have him listed as a Centaur hero first (and last) seen in Wham Comics_002 December 1940, would this be correct ?

I'd love to get more data of this guy, did he have a secret identity ?

Any idea who worked on the strip ?

-Nigel

[John C]

He casts a shadow that looks like a buzzard and scares the crap out of the hardened criminals of the underworld.  Now that makes sense 

Oh, like you're such a big man that you're not afraid of buzzards...

I forget if we have it here (might not be permissible), or if I downloaded it when I saw it posted on someone's webpage, but there's Toby's unpublished version of Atlas (eventually printed by IW).  He not only has the worst costume ever (leopard-print undies AND a high collar), but after the Titan Atlas reveals the secret of great strength to the dweeb, the last page reveals the mystical secret to us:  Exercise.  Seriously, the magic that turned not-Mac into a super-man is pretty much a bicep curl.

Even if resistance training was innovative in the '50s, that's still pretty disappointing as revelations go.

[narfstar]

I believe the Buzzard was actually a police detective.  Could be wrong read it awhile back.  I have the fiche but have never been able to master scanning it.  None of the scanners I have had access to have a film filter/setting.  I have the IW Atlas somewhere which should be able to be posted since Waldman never owned the copyrights in the first place.

[comicsnorth]

I'd love to see that Buzzard story (as well as the rest of the illusive Wham Comics #2)--I'm still kicking myself for not bidding on a coverless copy that popped up on ebay a couple years ago <grr>  From the one panel I have seen of the Buzzard, he looks too sickly to have been a police detective, but stranger things have happened in a world of mongoose blood transfusions and condor foster parents, right?

-comicsnorth

[whisperingloon]

I have to know . . .

What is Madam Fatal from? I have to see that . . .

~ Ben

[phabox]

Any early issue of Crack Comics from issue one onwards will give you a taste of the wackyness that was Madam Fatal.

Look for them in the 'Quality Comics' section.


ENJOY 

-Nigel

[Brainster]

Elongated Man?  How about Jigsaw, instead?  Jigsaw was an astronaut who got sucked into a cone of debris that the aliens on the moon were grabbing from Earth.  His capsule was destroyed and he was killed but the aliens, who were good guys) put him back together more or less, with his mottled appearance giving rise to the name.  His power turned out to be basic stretchability (guess the aliens used elastic stitches).

[rez]

That was a silverage hero if I recall correctly. Had a costume or skin that looked like a jigsaw puzzle. Have several issues stashed someplace. Ran something like 2 to 4 issues. Maybe Harvey.

Elongated Man?  How about Jigsaw, instead?  Jigsaw was an astronaut who got sucked into a cone of debris that the aliens on the moon were grabbing from Earth.  His capsule was destroyed and he was killed but the aliens, who were good guys) put him back together more or less, with his mottled appearance giving rise to the name.  His power turned out to be basic stretchability (guess the aliens used elastic stitches).

[Brainster]

That was a silverage hero if I recall correctly. Had a costume or skin that looked like a jigsaw puzzle. Have several issues stashed someplace. Ran something like 2 to 4 issues. Maybe Harvey.

Elongated Man?  How about Jigsaw, instead?  Jigsaw was an astronaut who got sucked into a cone of debris that the aliens on the moon were grabbing from Earth.  His capsule was destroyed and he was killed but the aliens, who were good guys) put him back together more or less, with his mottled appearance giving rise to the name.  His power turned out to be basic stretchability (guess the aliens used elastic stitches).

Yep, two issues by Harvey Comics in 1966, trying to capitalize on the superhero craze caused by the Batman TV show.

[Yoc]

I went for a colour blindness test the other day.
They showed me pictures of 'Jigsaw' and 'Metamorpho' standing in front of a Jackson Pollock painting.
I needed hours to find them!   

And as the founding and only member of the Madam Fatal Flies My Kite Fan Club - I'm offended by the Crack article.

-Yoc the silly

[narfstar]

Jigsaw ran two issues and in the second he won the intergalactic olympics.  He was the first and only earthman ever to compete.

[rez]

I've a silverage, Dell I believe, with a character named Neutro. It is issue number 1. Some kind of robot thing.
On the subject of lame, if I recall correctly it was a continued issue and there never was a number 2.
Tell me that ain't lame. snorK*

[John C]

Jigsaw ran two issues and in the second he won the intergalactic olympics.  He was the first and only earthman ever to compete.

Except for all the other superheroes over the years dragged into that same sorry excuse for a plot, of course.  I think even the Justice League might have been there in one of the one-off titles.  Between baseball games, I mean.

[narfstar]

I have Neutro and I think every "back seat" superhero book of the SA

[rez]

You mean BrainBoy and the FabFour? heh heh
Almost can't believe I remembered the name of FabFour but there it was in the web search.

I have Neutro and I think every "back seat" superhero book of the SA

[narfstar]

Brain Boy and the Fab4 got em all As well as all the Dell monster heroes and Harvey Thrillers

[FlyingSquid]

They were supposed to be crappy (but then so was Dogwelder) and they're also (semi-)super-villains, but I nominate the Band of the Bland from Howard the Duck and She-Hulk.

"Black Hole is able to generate a powerful suction, similar to the gravity of a black hole, into the hole in his chest. The hole is apparently a portal to another pocket dimension. There is no known limit to the amount of material he can hold; it is presumably affected by his will power."

It isn't really as useful as it sounds, except that most people are so disgusted by it that they lose their lunch.

"Access to certain magical abilities. He can perform feats of great power, but uses more mundane items and mundane magical entities to accomplish them. For example, he uses a Dropcloth of Invisibility and the Pedestrian Prognosticator (a shoe which enables him to locate and view other people or things). He summoned the Plunger of Patooti to reverse suction on a black hole, creating the Cosmic Blowhole. He escaped from prison by conjuring a giant drill and escaping on the Inflatable Orbs of Igg. He ingested a 14 year old Eucha-Ritz cracker to transform from his civilian identity to Dr. Angst."

My favorite Dr. Angst moment is when he created a little one foot picket fence to trip the people chasing him.

"Sitting Bullseye is skilled in conventional weaponry, especially the bow and arrow, as well as traditional firearms. He is easily recognized by the large bullseye in the middle of his chest."

Like the Target except with no body armor.

"The Spanker uses a motorcycle for transportation. He wears a (presumably) padded or even bulletproof uniform, as well as a helmet when riding. His weapon of choice is his paddle, which he uses to administer spankings to all manners of offenders."

I totally want to see a Ghost Rider/Spanker battle. I don't care if it would be over in half a second.

"Tillie [the Hun] appears sufficiently strong, durable, etc to spar against the Hulk or She-Hulk. She also uses a large battle axe and spiked mace."

Tillie took an oath like Red Sonja to marry the man that bested her in battle. Since she was ugly and fat and dressed like a reject from a Wagnerian opera, even the Hulk decided not to fight her.

[rez]

Between Yoc's
'I went for a colour blindness test the other day.
They showed me pictures of 'Jigsaw' and 'Metamorpho' standing in front of a Jackson Pollock painting.
I needed hours to find them!'

and Squid's
' My favorite Dr. Angst moment is when he created a little one foot picket fence to trip the people chasing him '

I'm halfway to rolling on the floor

[darkmark]

Well, how's about the Terror, who got a transfusion from the blood of a mad dog?

[Geo (R.I.P.)]

Here's another one for everybody enjoyment. What a great guy and his co-stars!!!



Geo