A friend and I (who obviously had nothing better to do) fell to discussing songs that describe how to perform a dance. Two examples would be "The Time Warp" from The Rocky Horror Picture Show and Judy Garland's old song "Ballin' the Jack." The rule is that the song can't just celebrate the dance or exhort people to do the dance. It must spell out how the dance is done. "The Twist" doesn't qualify because it doesn't offer any instructions beyond "round and around and around." The Bangles' "Walk like an Egyptian" does qualify since it offers instructions like "slide your feet up the street, bend your back / Shift your arm, then you pull it back," though what that means is subject to debate.
Little Eva's "The Loco-Motion" qualifies. The lyrics to DJ Casper's "Cha Cha Slide" are practically an instruction booklet. On the other hand the disco favorite "The Hustle" doesn't count because it says nothing but "do it, do it, do the hustle." That old preschool favorite "The Hokey Pokey" fits the template perfectly. Most "how-to" songs are silly, but fun.
What are your favorite how-to songs? One I like from my preferred music era, the 1920s-1930s, is "College Rhythm," which Lyda Roberti sang in the movie of the same name (1934).
Snap your fingers, walk around a bit,
Shake your shoulders, go to town a bit,
When it's gotcha, you'll get hotcha;
That's college rhythm!
Tilt your skirt or tilt your pants a bit,
First you strut, and then you dance a bit,
Do it lowdown, hi-de-ho town;
That's college rhythm!
Sway, and then you'll stop,
And then you'll hop,
And then you just must add a little rumba!
It's so easy, there's no trick in it,
Learn it quick and get the kick in it,
All the world will soon be doin' it!
Hey, professor! Yes-yes-yessir,
That's college rhythm!
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Topic: A stupid question about stupid songs (Read 2063 times)
