[MarkWarner]

Firstly MAJOR thanks go to our most esteemed Kracalactaka, for unleashing a major flood of romance books celebrating this years St Valentines Day. I would also like to thank all the other scanners who made this avalanche possible (pardon my mix of metaphors).

To mark this effort, I thought that it was only fitting  that this week's book should be picked from the pile of newcomers. Krak chose True Confessions v46 288 "just for the ads"

As I confess I am not a fan of romance books, but LOVE old ads this seems a great compromise for me. Also as the book is 126 pages long a c2c read is not expected and can easily be dodged

The True Confessions issue can be found here  https://comicbookplus.com/?dlid=70964. Now I wonder what the ads will be like ...

Happy Reading!

[Kracalactaka]

Although the Camel cig ad on bc is reliably flabbergasting by today's norms, I have to say my fave ad is the one for Schlitz beer, putting on airs like it was more than just the cheap average tasting American lager that it is.

I'm not knocking cheap beer, I find most of it light and refreshing and goes well with food. 

last 2 six packs I bought were Miller High Life and Miller Light

[Captain Audio]

Although the Camel cig ad on bc is reliably flabbergasting by today's norms, I have to say my fave ad is the one for Schlitz beer, putting on airs like it was more than just the cheap average tasting American lager that it is.

I'm not knocking cheap beer, I find most of it light and refreshing and goes well with food. 

last 2 six packs I bought were Miller High Life and Miller Light

In those days Pabst Blue Ribbon was the standard and it blew chunks, as did many who tried it for the first time.
Any canned beer of the day did not keep well.
Absolute worst beer I can remember trying was the "Ice Brewed" abomination that inexplicably became popular for awhile.

Best beer I ever tried was a ancient traditional Egyptian beer brewed since the time of the Pharaohs that I ran across at a festival in San Francisco many years ago. A thick yellowish liquid that actually had nutritional value.

Don't drink at all these days, not for over a decade. The odor of beer now offends me.

[POWPUCK]

Although the Camel cig ad on bc is reliably flabbergasting by today's norms

DDT flea bath!

Also, "That's my hemo boy" sounds like a likely internet meme waiting to happen.

[crashryan]

This turned out to be surprisingly interesting. I started out browsing the ads, then got distracted by the letters column and advice articles. Finally I skimmed the first two pages of each story and wound up reading several in their entirety.

I'd never read a confession magazine before. I expected something more salacious. Something along the lines of TV soap operas, with lots of two-timing lovers and illegitimate babies. Instead the stories are much like romance comics of the period. Sure, the heroines' problems are dramatic: one is returning from a year in jail, a dashing rogue tears another from her good guy boyfriend, a third woman falls in love with her married boss. But their stories are told in a straightforward style without pulp-magazine excess. Only one story hints at sex, and that sex doesn't happen: the girl backs out of spending the night with her boss when she realizes he's just a serial philanderer. The writing is reasonably good, though it overflows with cleft chins and manly forearms.

The non-fiction section interested me more than the stories. Again I expected something lurid. But no, the articles are similar to those in mags like Women's Home Companion, unremarkable essays on homemaking and child rearing.

The War looms large over everything. The editor advises women to limit their purchase of stockings because nylons are scarce. One letter writer is upset because so many American soldiers are coming back with English wives instead of returning to the girls they left behind. Not only are they being cads, they're aggravating  the housing shortage!

Several ads celebrate the loosening of production restrictions and the return of pre-War products. (I'm not sure "P.W. Lipstick" is such a good headline, though. Back in the day "P.W." did not mean "Pre-War.") Interesting to see how many deodorant ads there are, and how they all assure us their cream won't rot clothing or turn gritty in the jar. Alongside familiar brands are products I've never heard of: Yodora deodorant (gritty it will not turn), Leaf gum, Kellogg's Krumbles, Borden's Hemo. What the heck is Borden's Hemo anyway?

In sum, this mag was a pleasant place to spend a couple of hours.

[crashryan]

Follow up:

Nothing is too obscure for someone to make a comic about it. I present to you: Hemo-Boy!

https://comicvine.gamespot.com/hemo-boy/4005-80878/

[Kracalactaka]

Looks like Borden's Hemo was something along the lines of Carnation Instant Breakfast (or perhaps Ensure for kids).

[SuperScrounge]

Li'l Abner Cream of Wheat ad - Hilarious 

What's Your Family's E.Q? - Not bad, although some of those activities mentioned might cause some people to balk ("I don't want to have to...") 

Some Men Are Dangerous - I figured I had to read, at least, one article and this looked short. Okay. Unintentionally hilarious at one point, off men for life after a year at women's prison... man that would be a completely different story these days. 

Karo Canning Book ad - Man, that housewife looks deranged, like she's some kind of mad scientist, "I've just canned fruits man was not meant to can! Muhahahahahahaha!" and then we see at the bottom she's violating child labor laws!  Oh, my god!!! 

Peter Pan brassieres and girdles -  I... I didn't think Peter needed to wear a brassieres or girdle! Neverland is a much more frightening place now...

[lyons]

Having grown up at a time when almost every movie shown on b+w tv was a 1930's, 40's, or 50's film, the ads and styles portrayed in the magazine were very familiar.  The Dark Secret 'Pond's Lips' ad on page 90 could be in a romance magazine today, and no one would bat an eye it was out of place - everything old is new again.  And the Glamour Girl ad on page 104 must have been pushing censorship limits for 1940's standards.  A very entertaining magazine, and a fun jaunt back in time.         

[Captain Audio]

The depilatory ad was a bit more racy, though in fact its a very artistically done nude photo.

[MarkWarner]

Wow! This really is packed with some great vintage ads.

It is a potential goldmine for social historians. However, they may conclude that the women of the day were either a bit "wiffy" of that they had a phobia of being so. This is due to the fact that every other ad is for deodorants, or the like.

The Kelloggs advertisement was rather intriguing as among the mini packets was one for Shredded Wheat I guess that Nabisco won that round.

I did have to laugh at the "Childhood Constipation" ad. From what I recall of nappies in the household, my children certainly did not suffer from that!

Verdict: A hit!

[lyons]

True, Captain Audio, but the nude in my ad is sassier.              

[Kracalactaka]

glad everyone has enjoyed this. I have one more issue to scan.

Mark,

I was thinking that since these are Fawcett mags and we have a fawcett section in comics, these might get more reads over there. I know these are not comics, but neither are the Capt Billy's Whiz Bangs and we keep them in the main Fawcett section.

[paw broon]

I don't know if the ads are a piece of social commentary or a sneaky, cynical way to make women think they pong. But the one that takes the biscuit is on the back cover for Camels.  That's a belter.
Actually, while I thoroughly enjoyed seeing these old ads, I enjoyed even more the small, or smaller, ads.  Don't you think they are always more interesting and sometimes a bit odd? Buy a Jackass fag dispenser, John?
Could almost be an East End wide boy - Sidney Tafler in Wide Boy springs to mind.
Not quite sure what a Marvel Whirling Spray Syringe (for women) is, and I'm not sure if I want to know.
Then there is Antophlogistine For Boils.  Now, I'm pretty sure that phlogistin(e) was a theoretical chemical that doesn't exist. But this stuff seems to be good for boils,  Who am I to argue?  Between the boils and having a look at that bit of athelte's foot between the toes has put me off my tea.
Great fun.  Thanks.

[crashryan]

Paw, your comment sent me back for another reading of the "small space" ads, as we used to call 'em when I was a paste-up artist for Learning magazine.

Yeah, phlogiston...I remember it well. Supposedly phlogiston existed in flammable materials and was released when an item burned. I looked it up on Wikipedia and found this wonderfully loopy theory, which introduces a new catchword: dephlogisticate!

Phlogiston theory states that phlogisticated substances are substances that contain phlogiston and dephlogisticate when burned. Dephlogisticating is when the substance releases the phlogiston inside it and that phlogiston is absorbed by the air. Growing plants then absorb this phlogiston, which is why air does not spontaneously combust and also why plant matter burns as well as it does.

So maybe Antiphlogistine dephlogisticates the boils. Speaking of boils, they were a big deal when I was a kid and they were mentioned frequently. I once had a mean one on my knee that hurt like hell and was gross to boot. However I haven't even heard the word in decades. Did Antiphlogistine make boils extinct?

In the "everything old is new again" department, Canada Dry have just started an ad campaign with a message quite similar to the one here: wholesome, pure, finest genuine ginger etc. There's also been a spate of TV ads for a children's laxative. I swear I never heard of a constipated toddler until I started reading these old magazines. But here they are back again.

A nod now to the new miracle fabrics in Blue Swan undies: Laton, Celatone, Swantone, Doubletone (also the name of an art paper used by newspaper cartoonists), Suedetone, Tricotone, Twinkletone (!), and best of all, SPUN-LO! A couple of these sound like the names of Golden Age science-fiction villains. Note the Blue Swan office is in the Empire State Building. Maybe they supplied Ann Darrow's underwear.

[paw broon]

"So maybe Antiphlogistine dephlogisticates the boils."  crashryan.
Love that
I worked in papers for a number of years, selling ads.  As some of them were local rags, you were always much closer to the production than on a big city paper, so I learned quite a lot about layouts, production, hot metal - and the strict union laws that applied back then. While big ads filled the paper, it was the small ads - for sales, cars, house exchanges, items, small time entertainers, wanted; and  public notices; hatches, matches and dispatches that were of most interest to the readers. I was intrigued by them back then and still am today.  That's why those small ads were worth a look. There's all sorts of stuff going on.

[bowers]

I found the most interesting aspect of many ads was the aftermath of war-time rationing. Even though the war had been over for eleven months, Kleenex ad (pg.7) and the Sitroux ad (pg. 82) both bewailed the lack of tissue available for consumers. The Canada-Dry ad (pg.84) states that as sugar rationing eases, more product will be forthcoming. The Lux soap ad (pg.49) warns us to "fight waste" as this soap was made with "vital materials". Some cosmetics were welcoming back pre-war versions of their products. But I found the "Bulletin From Washington" (pg.15-16) the most compelling, telling us what to eat and in what order! Telling us we must do without pie (apple?) and fried chicken, the iconic American meal! Also, a warning not to be a hosiery- hoarder. Yes, things were still tight back then but most folks took it in stride and did their duty. A tip of the hat to all of them! Cheers, Bowers

[Morgus]

Crash' thanks for digging up the Michael Gilbert Hemo Boy. I was away from the site for a bit and meant to get back and post a picture. Those MR MONSTER comics are amazing. (Lord have mercy, the REAL Hemo, with that pink tinge, somehow looks even creepier in the ad. Maybe because it's 'real' life.)

Anybody else grow up with the Durant's history of civilization in the house? Multi volume set that traced things from 'Our Oriental Heritage' onward. That and Churchill's history of WWII were proudly displayed on the shelves of a few homes when I was a kid.
And there was good ol' Will Durant in a romance magazine. Wow. Love to know the story behind that one getting published.
My favorite ad besides the donkey dispensing cigarettes was the Camel ad with the doctor. Almost like the little girl was trying to bum one off of him.
A lot of fun

[crashryan]

I remember a Gordo strip from way back when where Gordo is trying in vain to fit into an intellectual dinner conversation. Someone asks his date, "What are you reading?" and she answers, "Will Durant." Gordo pipes up, "I was willed a Durant once. Best car I ever drove."

[Captain Audio]

Phlogiston theory states that phlogisticated substances are substances that contain phlogiston and dephlogisticate when burned. Dephlogisticating is when the substance releases the phlogiston inside it and that phlogiston is absorbed by the air. Growing plants then absorb this phlogiston, which is why air does not spontaneously combust and also why plant matter burns as well as it does.

Think about it for a moment and you'll see they were describing Carbon.