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MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE:  Chico
The Cute Little Doggie Affair   (6 of 10)

A pair of competing drug lords each has attained one half of a list of undercover DEA agents, on microfilm, which can only be read when combined.  One of them has attached his microdot to a rare stamp, part of his massive collection, kept in a secure guarded underground vault.  Jim’s job is to retrieve the list, before it can be used to identify and murder the agents.

Fernando Lamas (100 RIFLES) is “Ramon Prado”.  He’s converted his money into rare stamps, and is deeply resentful that the Feds have been giving him so many hassles, while his rival has been doing business without any trouble.

Percy Rodrigues (STAR TREK: Court Martial) is “Arturo Sandoval”.  He’s has to be convinced to join forces with Prado, but doesn’t realize exactly what’s going on.

Gregory Sierra (SANFORD AND SON) is “Prado’s butler”.  I always remember him when he played “Chico”, Fred Sanford’s Puerto Rican neighbor.

“Chico the Terrier” (so credited at the IMDB) is “Chico”, this week’s pinch-hitting IMF member.  YES, REALLY.  I remember when they used a trained cat to sneak into a vault, and thinking, dogs are much smarter and easier to train.  I also remember when Eartha Kitt played a contortionist who had to sneak thru an air vent much smaller than the usual ones.  Well, this time, the air vent is REALLY small, and even this tiny little dog has to scrunch down to squeeze thru.  I was shocked when I realized, after he got thru the vent twice, he then had to go BACK to replace what he grabbed!  The most nerve-wracking part had to be when the automated vent door failed to open, and as Jim stood in the room with the 2 rival gangsters, saw Chico standing on the floor, and did what he could to not let the villains see the dog until he was able to escape.

The rest of the plot is too complicated for me to want to even bother trying to describe.  Just watch it for yourself.  Leonard Nimoy gets to put on a fake Australian accent, until his ruse is discovered… ON PURPOSE.  It’s always nuts when the IMF’s plan include making the villains think they’ve uncovered a plot against them… and they STILL don’t know what the real plot involves.

[profh0011]

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE:  Gitano
The Young King  (6 of 10)

A 12-year-old King of a tiny country is in danger because his advisor wants to kill him, take over, and invade their neighboring country.  A former friend of his advisor, in the next country, kidnaps him to save his life.  But the King refuses to believe bad of his advisor.  Jim’s mission, is to CONVINCE him of the truth.

Mark Richman (THE OUTER LIMITS: The Borderland) is “Colonel Stefan Aragas”, the ambitious advisor with murder and invasion on his mind.

Barry Atwater (THE NIGHT STALKER) is “Grand Duke Clement”, who kidnapped the young King with good intentions, then lets him go, hoping for the best but fearing the worst.

Rudi Solari (STAR TREK: The Paradise Syndrome) is “Colonel Moya”, working for Clement, but really loyal to Aragas.

Barry Williams (THE BRADY BUNCH) is “King Victor”, who arrogantly thinks he knows it all, and winds up put through some rather humiliating circumstances before he realizes the truth.  (I wonder if there was a bit of “The Prince And The Pauper” in the make-up of this story?)

“Paris” (Leonard Nimoy) poses as a gypsy who rescues the young King following a road “accident” (staged by Jim’s team, OF COURSE).  In order to hide from those seeking to kill him, Victor winds up disguised as a girl.  To say he’s not happy about this is an under-statement.  I think Paris was the one person in this story who was probably in the most real danger, when he went to see Aragas with information about where Victor was.

It all ends in a warehouse basement, where a sheet of bullet-proof glass was all that stood between cold-blooded murder and the realization of the truth.

[profh0011]

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE:  Phantoms
The Murderous Dictator   (7 of 10)

The aging, paranoid dictator of an Eastern-European country plans to do yet another purge of young dissidants, this times writers and artists.  Jim’s mission is to REMOVE him from office.  Classic CIA behavior.

Luther Adler (D.O.A.) is “Premier Leo Vorka”, who’s been known to have hallucinations.  Jim takes advantage of this, by staging a BBC interview in his office, which gives Barney an excuse to plant equipment that will project images and sounds that only Vorka will see and hear (thanks to his glasses being replaced in the process).

Ben Astar (BATMAN: Hi Diddle Riddle) is “Deputy Premier Bartzin”, eager to replace Vorka in light of his increasingly-insane behavior.

Gregory Sierra (SANFORD AND SON) is “Gomal”, one of Vorka’s bodyguards.

Ivor Barry (McCLOUD: The Barefoot Stewardess Caper) is “Edmund Moore”, the English TV interviewer.

Jeff Pomerantz (McCLOUD: Give My Regrets To Broadway) is “Stefan Zara”, a young writer being interrogated, and who refuses to sign a fake confession which would condemn 100 friends of his for crimes that none of them have committed.  The IMF’s plan is to convince Vorka that Zara is really his long-missing (and believed dead) SON.

Antoinette Bower (STAR TREK: Catspaw) is “Nora Bennett”, this week’s pinch-hitting IMF member, who, with a little help from make-up expert Paris, is made to look exactly like Vorka’s long-dead girlfriend, who he had murdered many years before.  She’s made to appear to him in a vision to tell him he’s about to murder his still-alive son.

Paris gets to play 3 different roles in this story: a security officer, an old man, and Zara (albeit, Leonard Nimoy is only playing 2 of those parts onscreen).  He also impersonates a 4th person over the phone (and I’m pretty sure that wasn’t Nimoy’s voice in that scene).

[profh0011]

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE:  Terror
The Middle-Eastern Jailbreak   (6 of 10)

Somewhere in the Middle East, a convicted terrorist scheduled to be executed for his many crimes is suddenly about to receive a pardon, due to a government official secretly working with the terrorists for years.  Jim’s mission is to prevent the man’s release, and expose the official.

Michael Tolan (THE OUTER LIMITS: The Zanti Misfits) is “Ismet El Kebir”, who at one point states hie will not have won against the goverenment until HE is the government.

David Opatoshu (STAR TREK: A Taste Of Armageddon) is “Ahmed Vassier”, Kebir’s secret ally in the government.  Paris impersonates him at one point, to make the terrorist group believe Kebir will be executed, while the real Vassier panics and insists Kebir should be released immediately.

Arlene Martel (THE OUTER LIMITS: It Crawled Out Of The Woodwork) is “Atheda”, Kebir’s girlfriend, who the IMF convinces to break Kebir out of prison via a long-forgotten underground aquaduct.  I’ve seen Martel in a number of things, but somehow, I almost didn’t recognize her in this story.

Barney & Willy pose as army deserters who’ve stolen a truck full of nitro, which Barney must process in order to blow a hole in the wall of the prison, hopefully without killing anyone.

Also in the cast are Joe De Santis (THE OUTER LIMITS: The Human Factor) as “Maj. Marek”, and Ron Feinerg (NIGHT COURT: Wonder Drugs) as “Jenab”.

It blows my mind that the team went through so much trouble to break a guy out of prison, mostly so he could be KILLED anyway.

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MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE:  Lovers’ Knot
The Blackmailed Traitors   (7 of 10)

A foreign spy ring is blackmailing American agents into working for them, until their usefulness is ended, then killing them.  Jim’s mission, is to uncover the head of the spy ring.

Jane Merrow (THE PRISONER: The Schizoid Man) is “Lady Cora Weston”, claiming to be bored with her much-older husband, as a way of luring agents into the spy ring’s power.  But she’s bitten off more than she can chew this time.

John Williams (the BATTLESTAR GALACTICA pilot) is “Lord Richard Weston”, who doesn’t seem to mind that his much-younger wife has occasional “fun”.

Don Knight (McCLOUD: The Barefoot Stewardess Caper) is the ring’s enforcer, who loves killing too much, and killed off their last victim before he was able to give them what they needed.

Jerry Douglas (GOOD GUYS WEAR BLACK) is “Marvin Rogers”, an American intelligence man in England that Phelps and his team wind up working closely with.  Phelps allows himself to be blackmailed so he’ll hand over a “de-scrambler” device that will allow the baddies to listen in on confidential embassy communications.  But knowing what he’s giving them, the code will be changed as soon as the baddies are fed FALSE info that will help uncover the head of the ring.

Vic Perrin (“The Control Voice” on THE OUTER LIMITS) is “Peter Stone”, the never-seen boss of Rogers, whose pre-recorded voice becomes half of a phone call that tells the baddies that Paris is suspected of double-crossing his own men and stealing millions in the process. 

Charles Macauley (HEAD) is “Conway”, who runs a crooked gambling hall, where Jim winds up losing $50,000—but he does it on purpose!

This was the 4th episode in a row written by Laurence Heath, who did 23 episodes in all.  I wonder if he wasn’t getting bored with the tight format of the series, because in this one episode, he deviates from just about every standard imaginable!  There’s no “tape” scene, no “team photos” scene, no mission briefing, the team is activing working with ANOTHER government agency, and, Paris winds up falling in love with a woman he KNOWS is rotten and involved with espionage and murder.  And, while the show had a tradition of conning one bad guy into murdering another, this time, the main bad guy, all on his own, winds up comitting SUICIDE.  That’s a nice variation!  (In my time, I’ve written TWO scenes like that, so, here, I kinda saw it coming.)

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MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE:  Orpheus
The Mysterious Eastern-Sector Assassin   (6 of 10)

In what can only be East Germany, an assassin unknown even to his employers is set to kill another victim.  Jim’s mission is to stop him, permanently, and take his contact man out of action as well.

Albert Paulsen (THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE) is “Eric Bergman”, the go-between who has never even met the hit-man.  He becomes the target of one of Jim Phelps’ patented insanely-complicated scams.  Two funny moments in this otherwise DEAD-serious story are when his pet cat wanders into a room where Barney is secretly working, and, when he suddenly finds himself face-to-face with Paris—disguised as himself.

Bruce Glover (DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER) is “Major Deiter”, Bergman’s right-hand man.

Jessica Walter (PLAY MISTY FOR ME) is “Valerie”, this week’s pinch-hitting IMF agent, who poses as a security officer from “Central Command”, who bosses her way around Bergman’s office, warning him not to contact her superiors or it will mean his death, and planting the seeds that there’s a traitor in his organization.

Jim poses as a defector who, it turns out, is also a heroin addict.  Bergman doesn’t know whether to believe he’s a legit defector or not, but decides one way or the other, he’ll get whatever info he wants before killing him!

Paris poses as a man supposed to have already been killed by the assassin, and his still being alive makes it look like something really wrong is going on.

Booth Colman (MY GUN IS QUICK) is “Stavros”, alias the assassin “Orpheus”, who’s planted a bomb to kill a certain doctor, and is then told at the very last minute that he needs to cancel the hit.

Parts of this were interesting, but overall, I found it almost too dense to follow from scene to scene.

This marked the 100th episode of MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE!  Given the behind-the-scenes stuff going on at Paramount at the time, it amazes me that this series lasted 4 whole years longer than STAR TREK did.

[profh0011]

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE:  The Crane
Manhunt   (8 of 10)

In Hungary (“Lugos” was a former territory), a resistence leader fighting a corrupt military junta has been captured awaiting execution.  Jim’s mission is to rescue him, and put a stop to the junta.

Carl Betz (McCLOUD: Who Says You Can’t Make Friends In New York City?) is “General Yuri Kozani”, currently in charge of the country, bent on executing the man set on over-throwing him.  “When someone tries to kill you, the best way to respond is by killing them first.”  That’s his motto.

Felice Orlandi is “Colonel Alex Strabo”, Kozani’s right-hand man.  Ernesto Macias is “Constantine”, head of the resistence, who, inexplicably, is voiced by Vic Perrin (“The Control Voice” from THE OUTER LIMITS).

Jim poses as a member of the resistence, who, incredibly, walks right into Kozani’s office, and announces he KNOWS that resistence leader Constantine has betrayed his own people by making a deal with Kozani—and that Jim’s going to KILL Kozani.  He stopped by Willy, posing as a security guard!  Instead of killing Jim right then, Kozani wants to know WHY he thinks Constantine has made a deal. 

While this is going on, Paris, Barney & Willy manage to rescue Constantine and, knowing the entire area will be sealed off, making it impossible to get him out, hide him in plain sight—unconscious, inside a work crane bucket, suspended high above the very street he was grabbed from.  Out of the entire 4th season of this show, THIS visual has so far been the one and ONLY thing I clearly remember from when I saw this first-run back in March of 1970.  (56 YEARS ago!)  I don’t remember any other details of the plot at all, but that crane bucket has always stuck with me, especially when a similar bucket was used in one sequence in the 1969 movie ON HER MAJESTY’S SECRET SERVICE.  Did writer Ken Pettus get the idea from watching that film?  Maybe!

As usual, Jim Phelps NEVER takes the easy route.  Anyone else would have just shot the 2 baddies and let it go at that.  But that’s just NOT his style!  Instead, he builds suspicion between them, until, as we’ve seen so many times before this already—one winds up SHOOTING the other one dead.  But somehow, the suspense leading up to that scene in this episode, I felt, was better-played than in most of its predecessors.

Inexplicably, this episode is listed as “Setup” on the Blu-Ray’s menu.  Go figure.

[profh0011]

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE:  Death Squad
Barney On Death Row   (8 of 10)

Jim & Barney pick a bad place to vacation: a Central American country with a murderous Chief of Police.  When the man’s brother accidentally goes out a window while trying to attack Barney in a jealous rage over a woman who dumped him, Barney is sentenced to death, regardless of if he actually comitted murder or not!  Jim hatches a scheme on the spot to free him, before that happens, and at the same time, gather evidence to put the Chief of Police away for good.

Cicily Tyson (B.L. STRYKER: Winner Takes All) is “Alma Ross”, a NYC artist who falls in love with Barney, but knows nothing about what he really does for a living.  I always remember her from when she hosted SNL, and told Garrett Morris to his face, “Look what ya’ll did to Detroit. That used to be a nice place to live!”  (Hilarious.)  Is it safe to assume that her character may be Grant Collier’s mother in the revival series?

Pernell Roberts (BONANZA) is “Chief Manuel Corba”, who used to be the executioner at the State prison, liked it, and has recruited like-minded officers for his local Police force, forming a “death squad” who execute people in secret by hanging, stealing their valuables, and disposing of the bodies in a vat of sulphuric acid.  Jim convinces him that he and Barney were both involved in a huge theft of emeralds, as a way of delaying Barney’s death—though by the end, Corba decides to go ahead with the murder, even WITHOUT getting a share of the take.  I guess murder was more important to him than money.

John Schuck (McMILLAN & WIFE) is “Lieutenant Jocaro”, known to always be on the take.  Paris poses as a jewel fence pretending to be a Policeman wanting to join the death squad, as a way of conning him and his boss into thinking Jim was part of the jewel theft.

Leon Askin (SHERLOCK HOLMES AND THE DEADLY NECKLACE, HOGAN’S HEROES) is “Riva”, a small-time petty thief who Corba decides to murder just for kicks.  When Barney is put in the cell right across from him, Riva is amazed at how close Barney came to escaping entirely on his own—before the guards decided to check on their prisoners.

The warehouse where the double-gallows was set up reminded me a lot of the one seen in the film IN COLD BLOOD.  This was another very off-beat episode, and one of the more entertaining ones!  Every time I see Leonard Nimoy, I keep thinking, I bet he had a lot of fun working on this show.  I also keep wondering why he left after only 2 seasons.

[profh0011]

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE:  The Choice
The Mystic Monk   (7 of 10)

In an obvious tribute to both THE PRISONER OF ZENDA and RASPUTIN, THE MAD MONK, The Duchess of a tiny country has fallen under the influence of an alleged mystic, who hopes to take over the country when she’s gone.  Jim’s mission, is to prevent that from happening.

Leonard Nimoy gets to play 2 roles in this one, as Paris turns out to be a dead ringer for “Emile Vautrain”.  He’s not only conned the country’s ruler into thinking she’s sick and he’s cured her, and, that her right-hand man has turned against her, but also, that’s he’s immortal.

Jim & Paris pose as a pair of con men, in yet another example of the IMF making the baddies think they’ve exposed the heroes, while still never allowing them to know who they REALLY are.  Their con this time involves a stage show with a working electric chair.

Among the guest cast are Nan Martin (26 episodes of THE DREW CAREY SHOW), Arthur Franz (THE ATOMIC SUBMARINE), Alan Bergmann (STAR TREK: The Empath) and Sid Haig (BATMAN: The Spell of Tut).

There’s a moment at the climax where I wasn’t sure who was Paris and who was Vautraine.  At the very end, only The Duchess’ real friend figured it out, and thanked Paris for what he did.

[profh0011]

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE:  The Martyr
The Youth Congress   (6 of 10)

The dictator of yet another in an endless line of Eastern-European countries arranges a “youth congress”, hoping to convince them to endorse his regime despite their idolizing his predecessor, who was murdered 20 years earlier.  Jim’s mission is to prevent that from happening.  Could his agenda be any less specific than that?

John Larch (DIRTY HARRY) is “Premier Anton Rojeck”, who is worred the young people of his country may rise up against him.  By the end of the episode, I began to think his character was written as a parody of Richard Nixon.

Scott Marlowe (THE OUTER LIMITS: It Crawled Out Of The Woodwork) is “Josef Czerny”, Rojeck’s henchman, desperate to please his boss under repeated threats to his life.  Yeah, good way to prove you’re in favor of free speech, when your own right-hand man is constantly afraid of dying.

Ken Swofford (THE ANDROMEDA STRAIN) is “Florian Vaclav” a bookstore owner who claims to be part of the youth resistence, but is really loyal to Rojeck.

Anna Lee (489 episodes of GENERAL HOSPITAL) is “Maria Malek”, whose husband and young son were murdered 20 years earlier, and she’s been kept in a mental hospital ever since.  Jim hopes to use her as part of his plan, and get her to safety at the same time.

Peter Brocco (THE OUTER LIMITS:  I, Robot) is “Dr. Valari”, who implants a miniature device in Jim’s ear, and also tells Rojeck info that would seem to hurt Jim’s plan—but not really.

Lynn Kellogg (a singer who also had a brief acting career) is “Roxy”, a folk singer who does a passable rendition of Bob Dylan’s “The Times They Are A-Changing”.  Her character’s name is never once mentioned in the story, and we don’t learn until the very end of the episode that she was actually this week’s pinch-hitting female IMF agent!  Well, she was cute.

Paris spends most of this story pretending to be the son of Maria Malek, unaware of his true identity until Rojeck finds out about it, and allegedly hating his late father’s politics.  Rojeck sees him as an opportunity to convince the young people that he’s an okay guy, which, as you might expect, doesn’t play out the way he hoped.

Some reviewers have mentioned “hippies”, but nobody in this story dresses or acts the way American hippies ever did.  And if there’s one thing I just couldn’t believe, it was that anyone would ever think Paris or Barney were “youths”.